I was sitting on the bench.. at night.. all alone.. my head facing my feet.. i was thinking.. regretting.. suffering.. afflicting by the forces of pain.. There was no voice.. no sound.. no nothing.. just me on that bench.. and the great empty surrounding.. However, suddenly a cold freezing breeze brushed through my hair.. intersected my chest and shoved a lot of pain in the four chambers of my heart.. a chilly feeling covered my muscles.. and my filmed memories were coming back.. and sadness arrived.. it sat beside me.. holding my shoulders tight.. and leaning on me.. sadness spoke to me.. it told me how its life was miserable.. it told me that it was a loyal friend to anyone feeling down.. without me noticing myself.. i felt my lap was wet.. so, i realized i was giving in to sadness.. and tears were falling with no power to control them.. i felt so weak.. Sadness told me that it had no choice but to change its form and live within me.. within my soul.. so it started to diffuse into me.. being a one.. and mingling sadness grew inside of me.. i felt defenceless.. but that was my choice.. i’m tired of being strong all the time.. i need to give up once in a while.. and be a loyal friend to sadness , just like how it was  a loyal mate to me..

                Next day i woke up.. i found myself laying still on the bench.. i didn’t feel weird.. i felt indifferent.. i started being apathetic.. thanks to sadness.. so i tried to stand up and walk to my room inside the house.. but my body felt numb.. i had no control over myself.. i was immobile.. my body betrayed me.. except my tears.. they were my only  hideout from this real world... my hands felt so cold.. my blood was about to vanish and my veins were about to dry away.. is this what they call death... a dry life.. i don’t think so.. because i was wholeheartedly soaked with tears.. unless i’m out of tears, then for sure my life will come to an end.. i was trying to breath.. but when i was forcing my nose to take in some air, it inhaled double the amount of air i wanted to breath.. as if it was begging me to stay alive.. for reasons i can’t understand.. and might never too.. it sounded like a paradox to me.. well .. what’s new? .. i’m all made up of paradoxes.. i abhor my nature.. it feels so bitter... so frozen.. so aloof..  so detached.. so wintry..